Missed opportunities

Often we think, we are more talented what we have achieved till now. We feel we were born to be more or something else but we don’t do anything to get it. A new year is here and we realize we wasted another year. This can scare us, we made our New Year resolution or made a vow, set up new goals but often the real motivation is missing, the internal intention. What can happen if we don’t have the internal intention? Could we live our life what we actually already have? Is it enough what we have achieved till now?

The answer usually is no but often we don’t reach to act. When we get stuck to fulfil our plan usually we blame the impending elements and the missing opportunities. However new alternatives are opened in every part of our life for the Y generation. Even if it’s about study, new job or founding a family. We have more freedom and space of movements. We have infinite opportunities but because of that, the choice is even more difficult.

Doubts

To find the right way or make the right choice didn’t become easier or simple. Actually to find the perfect is more difficult in the infinite alternatives. We don’t know the future, we face with more and more difficulties to calculate risk and also the possibility of failure scares us. But it’s a basic expectation to be successful in life so we don’t want to be stigmatized by wrong decisions. I can see young adults with the age of twenties are not able to commit themselves to decide. The unexpected outcome scares them, they are not willing to take responsibility so that’s why they push away the burden of choice. They let themselves to be influenced to choose too much by their parents, friends. They swim with the tide and they try to fill up everybody’s expectations. Since the internal intention has been missing, there is no will behind, they just waste their time not being and feeling successful and satisfied. Years of university studies are protracted, the carrier is stuck and the opened and aimless “neither with or nor without you” opened relationships are typical.

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Avoiding failure and hesitation

This hesitation is understandable, it’s important who and what for we spend our time, energy and money. Instead of the choice of joy often the fear of sacrifice hinders us. We don’t look for prosperity in what we could choose, we grieve about what we must give up in exchange for it. This uncertain situation and condition is becoming a disadvantage, we lose time and without acting. We can lose years from our life if we are afraid of failure and don’t venture to start boldly on unknown.

If the decision and the mental commitment doesn’t develop for a choice, it’s very difficult to hold on and face with difficulties later. Instead of looking forward, we continuously look back and paying attention what we missed or lost the opportunities. We don’t do our best what we are doing recently that’s why we don’t experience real success and real satisfaction as well. Our internal suspense colors and settles on our entire life.

Nevertheless if we commit ourselves that influences our emotional and cognitive attitude later. We must trust in ourselves that we made a good decision for using our energy and time successfully to reach our goal. This investment usually pays off. (I must mention here nothing is for free! We get something if we go for it!) If we accept that the decision is our and we don’t act being pressured by others, so we are able to be connected emotionally to our choice which strengthens our persistence. At the end we don’t want to shift the responsibility upon others and take the consequences. There are always going to be difficulties but we must believe in ourselves we are able to take them. Our mind re-structures information coming from our environment, and re-structures those impulses according to prove and confirm our decision. This is the cognitive dissonancy and we need this basic support to be able to face with the difficulties.

Of course sometimes we make mistakes (we are not perfect) and make wrong decisions. The time and energy what we have used doesn’t worth. There is no other way than re-plan. A wrong decision is not a failure, not a stigma and doesn’t rate us. It’s something what we can learn from. All of the failures have their own treasures and to find them we need just one thing, bravery to look inside instead of blaming others or external factors.

I wish a Happy New Year for everyone! I wish you more love, joy and harmony!

Picture: http://www.phocuswire.com

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