Life is a cycle of ups and downs also once in a while something happens which can push us very very deep. We lose a relative, we get diagnosed with a serious illness or get lethargic after a break up with our partner. These happenings can get fixed in our memory as traumas and followed by emotions like fear, desperation, sadness and hopelessness. However traumas are not just the source of suffering, also a source of development according to psychological researches. Several cases have been documented when from a heavy burden situation a positive scripts grew, as an internal psychological reality and experience. This is called post-traumatic development.
There have been several documented cases about development even after abuse, rape, accident, natural disaster or terrorist attack. But also researchers have documented about those people as well who live under a high and continuous stress, like a parent who takes care of physically or mentally disabled child for example or working in ER and have been raped or kidnapped.
Quaking and rebuilding
It’s like a seismic procedure, quaking our life, destroying our view of life which makes us believe that life and our world generally is predictable and just. Nevertheless after the quake re-arrangement is starting and we set up a new world of concept which already includes the experience and observation of the trauma.
Traumas are actually a kind of watershed in our life: events are sharply divided to a before and after the trauma. When we recover from a trauma the relationships with others can become more important, internal values and the affection of life can become conspicuous, we can feel that became stronger and built more internal strength, we can start a new path or became more opened to spiritual experiments. The changes in these aspects are the psychic development.
Finding meaning under remains
It’s a long and difficult process indeed. It requires internal commitment and work to understand what exactly happened with us and to find those handholds for moving on. The susceptibility to looking for meaning and understanding is necessary for recovering instead of degradation. This means that we are willing to think what happened over and to search for deeper meaning and inherency. This absorbed procedure of thinking furnishes a basis for reconstruction and drawing a lesson which become our new life’s establishment of principles, a new mindset, a new attitude.
Be careful! “Why me?” or “What if?” types of questions doesn’t serve the purpose. Important to experience the suffering and not running away from it and when it’s time we can ask right and constructive questions like “What if I’m doing this and this now?”
The good things proceed from difficult situation don’t grow from the traumatic event or from the experience of strong stress, they grow from ourselves. From those strengths which have been revived by bad things and from that natural human capability what with we can transform suffer into mean. To familiarization with stress means, we must trust in this capability even if the sorrow is still new and the future is doubtful.
Since the procedure can be long and very painful, we always can look for professional help and use the trauma for development.