Positions – Pronouns after our given beliefs – Transaction analyses

After our childhood together with our beliefs given by our parents we set our position which includes the whole world, like ourselves and other people around.

The simplest positions are for two persons, YOU and I are the main players and this YOU and I are come from those beliefs what we have got by imbibing from infancy. The okay situation is “+” and the not okay is “-“ and comes like this I+ or I-; YOU+ or YOU-. The combinations of these “+” or “–“ give those four basic life positions which from our destiny and games come, created and played.

  1. I+; YOU+ position (success): This is the “healthy” position. The good life of Princes and Princesses. When the person is positive, open minded and towards others as well. Even if we have got different inputs from our parents we can reach this “stage” by hard work, mainly by the improvement of self-knowledge.
  2. I+, YOU- position (arrogance): I am a princess and you are a frog position. This is the “to be rid of him/her” motto. These people play “Fault finding” games, mocking their partners and those who freezes the friends out, making negative comments and believe that everybody else are the “stupid” ones. This is an arrogant life position and people around just inferiors. It is not always clearly visible. In a clinical point of view paranoid.
  3. I-; YOU+ position (depression): Psychologically a depressive life position, self-degradation. These people are whom become easily co-dependent, whom want to get rid out themselves. This position’s key words are “If only” and “Should have”.
  4. I-; YOU- position (needlessness): Why not… life position, no purpose. Clinical point of view is schizoid. People with this life position the whole life including people are so negative, they are not able to see positive things or at least do something to get it.

Our life positions are very complex and can show contradictions however we can state that mainly one position guides our decisions, our destiny and shapes the quality of our life.

People with I+; YOU+ belief become good leaders and they are able to preserve this positivity even in difficult time periods according to themselves and to others. External circumstances just rarely can change these four life position by themselves. The permanent change must come from inside which can happen spontaneously or by professional therapy. There are people who live in more position in the same time or changing them frequently. From I+; YOU+ position they change to I-; YOU- position or into other variation. According to life position these people are the unstable or irresolute personalities.

Three individuals’ positions

1/a.) I+; YOU+; THEM+ position: this is the cohesive family democratic collective position; a kind of an ideal and its motto is “We love everybody”.

1/b.) I+; YOU+; THEM- position: the demagogue, snob or gang position, its motto is “Who needs them?!”.

2/a.) I+; YOU-; THEM+ position: this is the canvassers and unsatisfied position, its mottos is “You are worse than them over there!”

2/b.) I+; YOU-; THEM- position: this is the lonely but puffed up with pride critic position, in a clear form pretty arrogant attitude. Its motto is “Everybody should surrender to me and adore me, as possible as inferiors can.”

3/a.) I-; YOU+; THEM+ position: self-mortifying saint or masochist, the clear position of melancholic. Its motto is “I’m the most worthless person in the world!”

3/b.) I-; YOU+; THEM- position: it is a servile position of that person, who works for somebody to get reward and privilege, mainly because of being snob not because of a need. Its motto is “I humiliate myself and you rewarded me generously, not like the others over there!”

4/a.) I-; YOU-; THEM+ position: servile enviousness and some political line position. “They hate us because it doesn’t go that well for us than to them.”

4/b.) I-; YOU-; THEM- position: the cynical pessimist position and those whom believe in the original destiny and the original sin. “None of us is good for anything anywhere.”

There are uncertain life positions and those which are flexible:

1: I+; YOU+; THEM? position: Evangelist position. I and you are okay but we don’t know anything about them till they show their will and take our side.”

2: I+; YOU?; Them-: arrogant aristocrat position. “Most of the people are worthless, about you….I am waiting till you show your recommendatory letters.”

Well, there are several other positions more and in various mix as well. What about your I? What about your view on YOU and THEM?

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